Today was not really a day I felt like watching hockey, to be honest. The Flyers have been a huge disappointment this year, and I can easily think of a thousand ways I could have used my time more productively today. So like, going into this game I was in a pretty bad mood.
And then I realized that the only reliable feed I could get was the Boston one. Jack Edwards. Other guy (I call him Jimmy O’Boston). The worst broadcasting duo in the NHL. The combination of homerism and that ridiculously terrible accent is enough to drive any NHL fan crazy on a good day, so you can just imagine how I felt.
To make matters worse, just before puck drop, one Kelly Hinkle informed me that the following abomination had taken place at TD Garden:
The @NHLBruins donned green St. Patrick’s Day jerseys in pre-game warmup at TD Garden. #PHIvsBOS pic.twitter.com/NeflUdXViw
— NHL Public Relations (@PR_NHL) March 11, 2017
Now, if any of you are familiar with my amazing history of providing words on the internet, you’ll remember that I cannot stand St. Patrick’s Day NHL merchandise. I also can’t stand the Bruins, Brad Marchand, Jack Edwards, and anything related to Boston.
It was going to be a tough day for me all around.
So here’s the good news — the Flyers started this game not looking like absolute crap. They weren’t completely dominating the game, and Radko Gudas even helped Boston get an early power play, but they didn’t look like a team that couldn’t keep up with the Bruins. About mid-way through the period, the Flyers even almost scored a goal! Wow!
Jake Voracek was able to get through the Bruins defenders and go off on a breakaway. The puck got lodged between Tuuka Rask’s pads and the post for a second until Brayden Schenn kinda maybe sorta poked it through for a maybe goal. It was definitely a big maybe, so when the refs confirmed that it was not a goal, I wasn’t mad at all.
But here’s why I hate Jack Edwards and Jimmy O’Boston. Before they could have possibly had any evidence to determine whether or not the puck had crossed the line, these jabronis were 100% convinced that it was not a goal. I totally get playing to the home crowd, but this kind of crap is just ridiculous. Even if you think I’m wrong, I still hate those guys and I am always right so there.
Anyway, after that the Flyers ended up doing absolutely nothing with a five-on-three opportunity. Then Travis Konecny went to the box for tripping. I was starting to get mad.
LOL then the Bruins scored off a David Pastrnak snap shot. It was mostly Andrew MacDonalds fault, because of course it was.
But then the Flyers started the second period with some stupid good play. For the first minute and a half, the puck only left the Bruins zone because the Flyers chose to regroup. The pressure ended up paying off when Jordan Weal was able to put a Wayne Simmonds pass into a mostly empty net. I was starting to get less mad.
That goal ended up getting challenged because of some stupid nonsense about Simmonds maybe being offsides like 20 seconds before the goal. The whole question came down to whether or not Simmonds non-offensive-zone-skate (does that make any sense?) was on the ice or in the air. Jack Edwards and Jimmy O’Boston were convinced the skate was in the air, which would have meant the Flyers goal would be overturned. They were wrong, so it was very funny to hear their reactions when the refs informed the crowd that the goal would stand.
Not much else happened in the second period, but I gotta say: the Flyers looked damn good. I haven’t watched that much hockey this season, but it definitely seemed to be one of the more dominant periods the Flyers have had. It was both Cool and also Good.
And then it all went to shit. The Flyers were absolute garbage in the third period, taking over twelve (12!) minutes to register their first shot on net. Things didn’t get better from there.
Honestly, I just wanted the game to end. And luckily, the Bruins obliged, scoring with only five seconds left to prevent this abomination from continuing past regulation.
Go the Flyers!
