With the Flyers season fast approaching, fans have a lot to be excited about. The addition of two star rookies in Ivan Provorov and Travis Konecny have justifiably lit a spark in the fanbase that hopes to see their team make a deep playoff run. And while the product on the ice alone is worth a lot of attention, there’s more than just that to look forward to.
I’m talking, of course, about the #Number1HockeyBoy rankings that are bound to sweep Twitter throughout the season.
For those unfamiliar with the concept of the #Number1HockeyBoy (#N1HB for short), it is a weekly committee-based ranking of Flyers that have achieved recent success, with players often given imaginative and descriptive nicknames. And just like last season, the committee has already begun crowning the #N1HB, giving the most recent honor to Ivan Provorov (nicknamed “Sharp Provolone”) for his successful pre-season that earned him a spot on the opening night roster.
So what exactly is the #N1HB all about? Why was it started? Who determines which player brings home the distinction and by what criteria is this determined? To answer these questions and gain an understanding of what makes the #N1HB tick, I reached out to some of the committee’s most distinguished members to get some answers.
Perhaps it’s best to start from the beginning. Committee founder and member Dr. Pizza (@dr_pizza_MD on Twitter) recounted that it all began due to the Flyers’ slow start last season:
It all began back in late October of last year. The Flyers had started off the season a bit slow, losing their first two games. And then even more bad news struck—Steve Mason would be out for an undisclosed amount of time with a “family issue.” Things looked dire for the Flyers to say the least.
(full disclosure: Dr. Pizza is currently treating me for a bout of elephantiasis with pepperoni therapy)
Following Michal Neuvirth’s better than expected play, the good doctor felt that a distinction was necessary to formally recognize the goaltender’s achievements. And thus the #Number1HockeyBoy rankings were born.
No. 1 Hockey Boy rankings as of Oct. 22
1. Michael Neuvirth
2. Giroux
3. Umberger
4. Gagner
5. Voracek
6. Medvedev
7. Couturier
8. Simmonds— joe м (@dr_pizza_MD) October 22, 2015
For a short time, Dr. Pizza was the sole member of the #Number1HockeyBoy committee, determining the rankings and tweeting them out himself every Friday to little fanfare. As the hockey season progressed and the popularity of the rankings grew, it became evident that a more diverse group of opinions was necessary to ensure accuracy in bestowing the #N1HB honor. Twitter user and all around genius @FlyGoalScoredBy explained that while Dr. Pizza deserves credit for starting the rankings, a committee was founded “to ensure a totally unbiased, politically correct set of data.”
Today, that committee consists of “six, sometime seven” individuals, according to Dr. Pizza. While the names were provided to me, I’ve chosen to exclude them at the request of @FlyGoalScoredBy’s lawyers. Regardless, that committee convenes once a week throughout the season, with each member casting a ballot for who they believe to be the current #N1HB.
Aside from those basic facts, not much else is known about the inner workings of the #N1HB committee. I asked @FlyGoalScoredBy if he could divulge any additional information, and was given an answer as shrouded in mystery as the committee itself. However, he did note that “I can assure you that the voting system is rigid, the nicknames are voted on in a extremely democratic method and the guest judges are treated with the upmost [sic, I think] respect.”
While those I spoke with were reluctant to divulge the internal politics of the committee, they were much more open about what criteria determines the #N1HB crown. After all, this isn’t a typical ranking system based simply on stat sheets and on-ice performance — that’s best left to the NHL’s official “three stars.”
@FlyGoalScoredBy explained that the committee employs “a sophisticated algorithm that generates our votes based on a number of factors.” Those factors include ”size of buttocks, amount of dog pictures posted to social media, amount of greasy goals, amount of greasy plays, overall greasiness, amount of teeth and desire to want to “be” the N1HB.”
Dr. Pizza provided more insight into the selection process, making clear that point production was “probably 3rd or 4th” most important factor when casting his vote. “The top factor, to me, is who was the most exciting player of the week,” the medical man explained. “Now, obviously that can include a high point total, but it also factors in game-winning goals, outstanding saves, a single slick pass, one standout play, a great postgame quote, a superb social media post, the birth of a child, the formalization of a new relationship, etc.”
And while I was told multiple times that each committee member determines his or her own votes, it is clear that a multi-faceted approach is taken by everyone who has the honor of casting a ballot.
As the #N1HB has survived the test of an entire regular season, the rankings have become more sophisticated. Dr. Pizza now provides nicknames for each Flyers player that makes the list (all of which undoubtedly bolster his brand), while @FlyGoalScoredBy employs his graphical skills in making impressive, sharable images that make their way across Twitter.
With that increased sophistication has come recognition from beyond the small sphere of Flyers Twitter. After the rankings caught the attention of Katie Nolan of FS1’s Garbage Time, she was asked to become an honorary member of the committee, thus increasing the #N1HB rankings success and influence. Dr. Pizza explains that “since April of last year, Katie has been the 7th member of the committee. Her involvement may be intermittent this year due to her being much more busy and famous and important than the rest of us will ever be.”
So what’s in store for the #N1HB rankings this season? If you ask Dr. Pizza and @FlyGoalScoredBy, the sky’s the limit.
@FlyGoalScoredBy explained that “N1HB’s will outlive us all. This is just the beginning.” He also hinted at an exclusive deal with Access Hollywood to “aggregate celebrities into the N1HB to give a dynamic, real time ranking of the hottest celebs in the news,” whatever the fuck that means.
Dr. Pizza was much more explicit in where he sees the #N1HB rankings going. He too mentioned incorporating celebrities and guest members into committee decisions, along with a newly created podcast and potential for video production. For him, the ultimate goal is to have “the #Number1HockeyBoy rankings reach the Flyers locker room, and act as the post-game award given out by the coaches and players to that game’s most outstanding achiever. We will continue to push for that goal throughout the year.”
Wherever the #Number1HockeyBoy rankings go, Broad Street Hockey will be there. This humble (and handsome, and smart) reporter is now the self-appointed #Number1HockeyBoy Insider. Throughout the season, I’ll be providing analysis of the rankings, along with insider reporting on the committee and it’s inner workings.
I just hope you’re as excited as we are.
*****
In the spirit of disclosure, I feel compelled to note that our own Kurt R. is a member of the distinguished #Number1HockeyBoy committee. I asked Dr. Pizza why a person with such bad opinions would be given such an honor, and he provided the following statement:
At the #Number1HockeyBoy committee, we do not discriminate against anyone because of their race, color, religion, sex, national origin, or quality of opinion. We accept all opinions, both good and the exceptionally bad such as Kurt’s, in our committee.
I feel a difference in opinion is always good for any committee as it creates interesting conversation as well as ammunition for mocking once that opinion has been proved absolutely wrong and bad.
Citing advice from his lawyer, @FlyGoalScoredBy declined to comment on Kurt’s status.
